Texas Gov. Rick Perry announces his presidential bid

Dear Lord, please bless all these nutcases, and make me their king. (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters)

Editor's Note: In the interests of time, this piece was written before Rick Perry's announcement was scheduled to take place. Please forgive any minor inconsistencies from the actual event.

Today, Rick Perry made it official: He's running for president. From his pre-announcement announcement of the text of his announcement:

?The change we seek will never emanate out of Washington. It will come from the windswept prairies of middle America; the farms and factories across this great land; the hearts and minds of God-fearing Americans -- who will not accept a future that is less than our past, who will not be consigned a fate of LESS freedom in exchange for MORE government. We do not have to accept our current circumstances. We will change them. We?re Americans. That's what we do. WE roll up our sleeves, WE get to work, WE make things better.?

Perry's announcement came in front of an appreciative conservative crowd of probably hundreds of people gathered at a South Carolina conference for appreciative conservative bloggers. "I support Perry," said one appreciative conservative. "I am happy he is entering the race," another stated.

Rick Perry marks the ninth major declared candidacy, according to some definitions of "major," and promises to change the race in some fashion. "There will perceptibly be one more podium onstage at the next debate," said one Republican strategist who did not wish to be identified. "At the very least, this will mean Mitt Romney will have even less time to explain his positions and answer questions, which may help his own candidacy considerably."

As a conservative Texas governor of sometimes questionable intellect, Perry is expected to be the frontrunner for Republicans who miss George W. Bush and wish he was still in office. He may also appeal to Michele Bachmann fans who are attracted to the obvious insanity of Bachmann's positions, but wish to have those views publicly tempered with the cautious pandering of Romney or the casual, often inexplicable anger of Newt Gingrich. Perry may also benefit from having skipped the first debates of the primary season, which were widely seen as humiliating to all involved, especially that goddamned Twitter one.

After Perry's announcement speech, the governor stated that he would be returning to Texas to clear brush from a new ranch he had bought for the occasion. There has been no word on how long his vacation will last, or when he will first appear on the campaign trail.

Source: http://feeds.dailykos.com/~r/dailykos/index/~3/OMbwaMcdQME/-Texas-Gov-Rick-Perry-announces-his-presidential-bid

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